Ya know, my mom used to write me a letter every year saying the changes shes seen in me at that age. I tried keeping up with it after she passed away and making a list of strengths and weaknesses, but she was unbiased, or as unbiased as a mother can be lol I’d honestly love to see what she’d write about the changes she’s seen in me in the past few years because I’m a completely different person. She’s become my motivation, and I’d love to just be able to talk to her just to see what she’d have to say.
So I decided to take my girlfriend to Myrtle Beach in SC for a week as her birthday present, because I’m badass like that, and had one of the best weeks of my life. The manager liked us and gave us an upgrade to a 3 bedroom condo for free, instead of -20 degrees, it was 70 degrees, and I got to spend a week with a girl that still manages to surprise me and make me feel like I’m falling in love with her every time I’m with her.
We had our first problem since we started dating, and honestly I thought it wasn’t going to end well, but she surprised me and we talked it out in about 15-20 minutes lol I love that about her. I can talk to her and not have to worry about picking the right exact words and watching what I’m saying. I can tell her how I feel about something, and It’s not immediately wrong. When I talked to her about what was bothering, she looked me in the eye and asked me what she could do to make things better because she doesn’t want anything to come between us. Rather than tell me I’m an asshole or its my fault, she asked me what made me feel that way and why, so she could avoid doing those things. For the first time, I feel like im in a real relationship, where we’re a team that respects each others feelings and try to work together to make it work. There’s nothing better than that.
I lost my ability to trust and I hate the feeling it causes.
"We can get naked but I’ll never let you undress my heart" -Halestorm
There are times in our lives where we can see the other sets of footprints that are next to us. We can see the ones behind us and in front of us. And we can see the sets of foot prints that might be a couple feet away from ours, reminding us that someone else is walking the path we’re walking and going through the same thing. This is one of those times that I don’t want to see any foot prints but my own. This will only last a couple days, maybe a week, but I’m at a point where I have no idea what to do or think and so I need to find my own path on my own. I need to take the first steps by myself, even if that means going in a different direction. It’s my set of foot steps, and so I should get to decide the mark they leave.
Lol I really guess I dont stay attached to people. I’ll be gone before you know it.